Tuesday, June 14, 2011

It's Getting Real In The Whole Foods Parking Lot


fist tap my main man The Doc
RBGAnonymous...yes that's me said...
lol. "im in electric mode. cant even hear the engine." this is so funny and sad on so many levels. paying 80 bucks for 6 things is so dead on. organic is the latest hustle. 

dv do you believe "whole check" is really organic? i read that article saying they caved into monsanto and compromised their crops. thoughts?
Denmark Vesey said ...
RBG!

Yeah, this piece cracked me up too.

Whole Foods?  Organic?

Of course not.  The term "Organic" is an idea.  An abstraction.  A meme.

Our food chain is so toxic, genetically compromised and depleted of minerals that to call anything "organic" is a stretch.

Are there food items in Whole Foods less poisonous than the food found in typical Plantation markets?  Yes.

You have a better chance of finding fruit that at least still has the seeds in it ... than that fake GMO seedless fruit which populates the shelves of Ralph's and Publix.  (The seed is the reproductive organ of the plant.  GMO plants are sterile.  I suspect all this seedless fruit is making boys fruity. but that's a different story)

My wife is bouncing from Farmer's Market to Farmer's Market trying to buy as close to the source as possible.  Better?  Yes.  Total solution?  No.

Whole Foods bothers some people because they perceive an undercurrent of elitism.  Food is the ultimate class barometer.  Whole Foods is a brand that presses class buttons.

Nothing seems to irritate people more than when you refrain from eating food they value.

You know.  Your aunt makes a delicious chicken dish for her entire family while you are visiting from out of town.  After everyone is gathered around the table and plates are passed, you politely say "no thanks Aunt Connie.  I'm going to pass up on the chicken ... but I'm going to double up on your string beans!  Ummm um!  I've always loved your string beans!! Uh ... um ... do you have olive oil in the kitchen ... I'm trying to cut back on the butter"  ... crickets ... crickets ... crickets.

All of a sudden, in Auntees mind, you are no longer the adorable young nephew ... but this pompous ass " 'Vegan' who thinks he's too good to eat chicken and margarine. What I feed my children is not good enough for his children?!" 

Uncle Matthew looking at you out the corner of his eye as if you just announced you were divorcing your wife, marrying a white woman and volunteering to work on the Mitt Romney campaign.

Inevitably your smart ass teen age cousin says something like ... "Why don't you eat chicken?!  Cuz of the hormones huh?!  Told you mom! Where you get your protein!?"

"Um ... Um ... you know ... I used to eat chicken ...  and um ... sometimes I still miss it ... but ... it just isn't for me.  Nothing deep.  Aint no religion or nothing (laughs)".

 ... silence ... silence.


Uncle says "Aint that ORganik food expensinve?!  How long you been a vegan?"

"Well ... well ... you know Uncle Matt.  Expensive is relative.  And I don't really consider myself a 'vegan'.  I don't even know what that means.  I just try to eat as closely to the way I believe God intended for me to eat.  You know.  I don't want to put diesel fuel in a gasoline engine. So ... I try to avoid eating blood and starch.

crickets ... crickets ... uncomfortable .... crickets.

Yeah RBG.  The disdain expressed by the Haitian Chick types is fueled by what they perceive as a contradiction in terms. They ask: How can DV champion natural food & medicine, fly pretty sistas w/ $600 handbags and the Whole Foods brand ... all at the same time?

They make the mistake of assuming that a man who prefers to eat living food must be an earthy crunchy granola eatin' Birkenstock and dashiki wearing, hybrid driving, recycling goody two-shoe ascetic muhfuggah who rejects style, quality and taste.

I'm rocking Paul Smith and hoppin out of Benzes when I buy herbs and chia seeds.
.

16 comments:

RBGAnonymous...yes that's me said...

lol. "im in electric mode. cant even hear the engine." this is so funny and sad on so many levels. paying 80 bucks for 6 things is so dead on. organic is the latest hustle.

dv do you believe "whole check" is really organic? i read that article saying they caved into monsanto and compromised their crops. thoughts?

RBGAnonymous...yes that's me said...

lol. "im in electric mode. cant even hear the engine." this is so funny and sad on so many levels. paying 80 bucks for 6 things is so dead on. organic is the latest hustle.

dv do you believe "whole check" is really organic? i read that article saying they caved into monsanto and compromised their crops. thoughts?

the good nurse said...

i love this! my girlfriend sent me the link to this and i laughed out loud for real....

Anonymous said...

eat right gangster shyt

KP

RBGAnonymous...yes that's me said...

dv, do you grow your own? what's in your garden?

Anonymous said...

Great post!!! Will be a favorite.
thank you! Oyan

the good nurse said...

this is soooooo true. my family look at me as if i deem myself better than..but, truth be told i suppose it is somewhat true.
i do not have diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, skin issues, etc.
my family does.
i choose to streamline what i eat. veggies, fruit (with seeds :) ), some fish...i get my protein from beans, legumes...no dairy.
my family eats the very traditional american diet...

sick bodies are not fit for the fight.

Anonymous said...

DV - R U hip to grain Amaranth?

KP

Denmark Vesey said...

"if i deem myself better than..but, truth be told i suppose it is somewhat true.
i do not have diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, skin issues, etc." The Good Nurse

...

That is a courageous acknowledgment of the obvious Sista Nurse.

You have taken responsibility for your health.

People who are still in mental slavery have abdicated the responsibility for their health to people they call "Doctors", a priestly class of sorcerers calling themselves "Scientists" and a plantation system calling itself the "Governent".

Therefor they resent people like you who have shed the shackles of thoughtless eating.

Having the courage to do you is a greater act of love than patronizing them with bullshit like 'they can be healthy at any weight".


Big Ups Sista Nurse

Denmark Vesey said...

KPeeeeee!!

Amaranth??

Man, funny you ask.

I haven't been fuggin' with that poisonous wheat for a minute.

Did some time with the Quinoa which was a world of difference.

But all roads seem to lead to Amaranth.

So it was next on my list.

I hear it only sprouts in the Spring and that the sprouts will change your life.

You hip to it? You try it yet? What you think?

raginasimms said...

Whatt is all this hooplah? look to me like just another uppity sista acting white, with her designer bag and eating fancy plants at White Foods.

Well she aint welcome in my hood. Uh uh. I keeps it real wit fried chicken, pulled pork , hot dogs and grape drink. Step off hun! Leave us be!

U need to find u the lawdd, Denmark!

RBGAnonymous...yes that's me said...

haha nice, White Foods. ima use that.

Anonymous said...

my only question: How much is Whole Foods paying you for this advertisement? If your answer is 'nothing'....

Dr. Love said...

Whole Foods...Kroger...Publix...??? Personally I prefer getting my veggies from the Farmer Markets..where I can at least see some "dirt" on my veggies... starting a garden has been exciting watching my own food grow that I can eat... sorry if it sounds "racist" but stay away from white sugar...white flour..white rice..white meal..white owned stores..and WHITE PEOPLE..just cant trust them muggfuggahs! Peace.. oh before I go I spent a total of 23.00$ for some of the freshest veggies I have had which was enuff for two weeks of eating...80$ for 6 items...Fuck Whole Foods..shud b named Whole Wallet....bon apetite!

Amenta said...

Yes Yes Dr. Love, I too am pulling veggies out of my backyard. Dirt I worked. Lettuce I grow is straight fiyah. A lil bitter the way it's supposed to be. Just bought some wild seaweed today to put into the garden to give my food that potassium iodide boost needed. Oh, and can't leave out the gypsum too. I do Whole foods at times, but fortunately living in the ATL I can roll out to the Dekalb Farmer's Market and get some pretty good food. Of course none of it will be as good as what I grow, but until my ish is ready I will be hitting Dekalb Farmer's Market and Whole Foods.

Peace!

HaitianChick said...

DV says.. The disdain expressed by the Haitian Chick types is fueled by what they perceive as a contradiction in terms. They ask: How can DV champion natural food & medicine, fly pretty sistas w/ $600 handbags and the Whole Foods brand ... all at the same time?

I could've sworn there was a post made a few weeks ago regarding natural sistahs who opt for acrylic nails, make-up, etc. The attacks on us but when the brothers do it.. bravo. Personally, I could care less about the price of homegirl's bag or the logo on her shopping bag. That was just tacky on your part.