I cannot tell you how disappointed my wife and I were to hear that Denmark Jr. behaved in a manner which warranted detention. He knows that his mother and I take his education very seriously. Disturbing the class and failing to pay proper attention to his teachers is completely unacceptable.
Mr. Taylor made it clear that Denmark Jr. is normally a well behaved student and this incident was something of an aberration. I believe that. He is a good kid. However I also see this incident as an opportunity to reinforce with Denmark Jr. the idea that he is expected to control himself and that there are consequences for failing to do so. He's 13 years old. in a few very short years Denmark Jr. will be in situations where his life could hinge on his ability to control himself.
I want Denmark Jr. to learn a lesson. I want him to grow. I want him to mature. i want to discourage this type of behavior and to encourage him to be an asset to his teachers, not a hinderance.
My problem with 'detention' is twofold.
1) It doesn't accomplishes any of these goals.
2) Automatic and mandatory detention reminds me too much of mandatory sentences and jail.
There are nearly a million young men in prison today. Many of them are good kids like Denmark Jr., who behaved out of character for just 5 minutes and inadvertently changed their entire lives.
If I were to allow Denmark Jr. to go to detention, he would go, do his time, and forget about it.
I think that is a dangerous precedent.
I respectfully ask you and Mr. Taylor to come up with a more creative and effective alternative to automatic 'detention'.
Please, pile on the work. Denmark Jr. needs more reading assignments. He needs more writing assignments. He needs to develop research and problem solving skills. He can work on the weekend while his brother and I play golf. (Believe me, you will never, have a problem with Denmark Jr. again if he misses golf.)
However, were he to simply serve time in detention because of this incident, he would forget about it before the school day was complete.
Please forgive me if you feel I am making more of this matter than it deserves. I have another son in Revere and a daughter on the way. I am passionate about what is modeled for them. I don't want to start patterns that begin with detention.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Kindest Regards,
Denmark Vesey
40 comments:
I love you for this.
i did the same with my son who is now 20 yo and a great young man....great job, daddy....
Brilliant!
GET EM!!
The only thing I will never question about you, is the way you raise your child. That's your business completely. I do have a question about your logic however.
1.) "Please, pile on the work. Denmark Jr. needs more reading assignments. He needs more writing assignments. He needs to develop research and problem solving skills."
Doesn't this equate school work and learning with punishment?
2.) Are you advocating doing away with detention for all students or just yours?
I'm not a fan of detention either, as it's a useless waste of time. And like you said, your boy will likely go ahead and forget about it when it's done.
I am loving this.....
I always figured I would educate my children myself or send them to some sort of alternative to a public school system, because all the schools do is prepare kids for a life of mediocracy, so I applaud anyone who protests the methodology employed by the school system.
I hadn't considered that. It is doing time. The thing about after you've "paid your debt to society" is that it continues to follow you for the rest of your life. So you continue to pay.
Just got an email about this film.
http://www.racetonowhere.com/
My son's school has a dress code except on Friday's. That day you have the option of wearing the school uniform or paying $1.00 to dress casual. Intentional or not, that subconsciously suggests to obey the law unless you have the economic or political means to bypass the system.
Isn't school irrelevant?
livelovelife said...
I love you for this.
I love you for your courage.
the good nurse said...
i did the same with my son who is now 20 yo and a great young man....great job, daddy....
Ahhhh ... mm m m. 60 inches of sweetness.
You got good instincts Sista Nurse.
Saran said...
Brilliant!
Thank you. Than you very much. <>. Thank You. You're too kind. Thank you. <>. Thank you <>.
chosen said...
GET EM!!
GOT EM!!
What up Choe Zen!
DMG said...
The only thing I will never question about you, is the way you raise your child.
...
...
Thank You D.
That means a lot to me.
1.) "Please, pile on the work. Denmark Jr. needs more reading assignments. He needs more writing assignments. He needs to develop research and problem solving skills."
Doesn't this equate school work and learning with punishment?
No.
I have no intention to "punish" him.
He's not a dog.
My only interest is to educate him.
I'm preventing the Plantation from "punishing" my son and redirecting their energy and resources to the task of helping to educate him.
School is a supplement.
I'm the Captain of that ship.
"2.) Are you advocating doing away with detention for all students or just yours?" DMG
I'm not "advocating".
I'm just doing what I was built to do.
Detention is the psychological equivalent of prison.
Suspension. Expulsion. Probation. Parole.
All that shit is the same.
Detention is perfectly suited for the people who accept it.
"I'm not a fan of detention either, as it's a useless waste of time. And like you said, your boy will likely go ahead and forget about it when it's done." DMG
But there was another point here Doc.
I was teaching my son, by not SIGNING away my parental rights to "punish" him ... that the STATE is NOT our MOTHERFUCKING master.
That's what I'm advocating, if anything, Doc.
That's what the spot is about.
A War To Free The Plantation Negros
Shit. Let him take "Detention" today he'll be getting vaccines and eating GMO tomorrow.
Joanna said...
I am loving this.....
I always figured I would educate my children myself or send them to some sort of alternative to a public school system, because all the schools do is prepare kids for a life of mediocracy, so I applaud anyone who protests the methodology employed by the school system.
Thank you Jo! 'ppreciate it! 'ppreciate it!
Yup.
I feel you on the 'educate your children yourself' .. thing.
I mean if we think about it .... OF COURSE!
lol. You know what I mean?
OF COURSE parents would want to educate their children.
Only recently have people come to think of "school" as the BE ALL / ONE STOP SHOP for "education".
The Walmart of scholarship.
Every intelligent parent I know is considering an alternative to the Plantation School paradigm.
"The thing about after you've "paid your debt to society" is that it continues to follow you for the rest of your life. So you continue to pay. " Gee
Exactly Gee.
And see. It establishes this Authoritarian / Punish / Pay relationship with the government.
MASSA.
The Plantation.
This the fuck I been talkin' about bra.
Isn't school irrelevant?-CNU
Well, being part of an active community outside of school is a strong response. One we participate in just as they do. If not, then they become successors of some other set of beliefs. Our family name then serves no other purpose than a DNA SKU.
DV, I love this post. Thanks for sharing.
My son received a detention in his senior year of high school. After 4 years of stellar behavior, out pops this detention.
I asked him about the incident. Apparently, another child made a comment to a substitute gym teacher and the teacher assigned the rude comment to my son. Other kids in the class approached the teacher as witness to my son's innocence but he wanted to make sure somebody "paid" for the incident.
I could have told my son to just serve the detention and get it over with. Instead, I told him not to show up.
I presented the circumstantial evidence I had to the guidance counselor and asked her to question my son about it with the accuser present. Like others here, I don't believe it serves anybody to (1) automatically issue detentions and (2) use the random detention as a crowd control tool to make an example out of somebody... anybody.
The counselor hadn't returned my calls and emails by detention day. My son was afraid and said he'd serve the bogus detention anyway. I instructed him not to show and I made one last call.
In the end, the counselor had to recognize the insanity of this "small" thing and just took it off the books.
My son learned even more:
1. You may eventually be falsely accused, even when you have a truckload of witnesses defending your honor.
2. Peacemakers are targets when "somebody has to pay" because they're not expected to rock the boat.
3. No matter who/what the authority, don't back down from justice.
4. Injustice will likely "right itself" when individuals can't escape a direct request to account for their actions.
Well, being part of an active community outside of school is a strong response. One we participate in just as they do. If not, then they become successors of some other set of beliefs. Our family name then serves no other purpose than a DNA SKU.
It has been repeatedly asserted hereabouts that school is simply irrelevant. There were no such post hoc qualifications given.
Is it now the case that "school is relevant" - so long as there is strong parental involvement?
"One we participate in just as they do. If not, then they become successors of some other set of beliefs. Our family name then serves no other purpose than a DNA SKU."
Um!
damn.
Yup.
... wow.
fuck that.
Herrrr Side!
You aint got no son old enough to be a senior in high school!
You mean a senior in elementary school.
I've seen your picture.
You aint fooling me.
I like how you handled that.
How you gong to let your son get into the habit of accepting arbitrary punishment?
"
2. Peacemakers are targets when "somebody has to pay" because they're not expected to rock the boat."
Deep.
"3. No matter who/what the authority, don't back down from justice." HS
Preach!
4. Injustice will likely "right itself" when individuals can't escape a direct request to account for their actions.
Exactly!
Look into the eyes of the institution.
The Impending Irrelevance of School
Review
Spring Semester 2010
Technology has broken the perceived monopoly of education and learning by the Plantation school system.
People are getting accustomed to educating themselves outside the classroom and outside the academic institutions most of which have priced themselves into irrelevance.
Sending a kid to Plantation U. for $120 K no longer makes business sense.
The "College Degree = Job" myth is all but eroded.
Are there things of value to be had in schools?
Certainly.
But just being some nerd who did what he was told and "made it through" an "organic chemistry" class in the 11th grade has absolutely no value.
Particularly if the kid didn't learn enough organic chemistry to keep from eating chemicals that causes him to grow tits.
Critical thinking and practical application of "organic science" (like eating organic food) will be of more value than Plantation certification and the ritualistic awarding of degrees.
You aint got no son old enough to be a senior in high school!
LMAO. So many folks don't believe me, and I didn't have him when I was a teen, either. ;-) If I get my food and fitness act together, I'll end up looking like his sister. hehe
Particularly if the kid didn't learn enough organic chemistry to keep from eating chemicals that causes him to grow tits.
LMAO again. My son is at a Plantation U. majoring in math and computer science. I remind him once a week (quite energetically, I may add):
"Don't you dare waste your time in this school, on this major, fighting to get the job you think we want you to have. If you have a love for something that doesn't require a degree - get out now and pursue what you love. I wish somebody had told me this when I was 17."
I figure at least he won't be afraid to make a change if he falls out of love with this. And the kicker that always gets an eyebrow:
"Don't let anybody, not even me, direct your life for you. When it comes to you and yours, you better tell me to take a seat if I ever step over the line. There's nothing worse than living to please others. It's a dead end. Think. For. Your.Self."
A lot of mixed feelings on this issue DV....trust me detention in the school system is a joke... the teachers assigned to "cover" detention areas hate this duty..and the teachers of the students hate the responsibility of providing assignments for the students...students end up "playing and acting a fool" in detention thus what is the PURPOSE... some schools have "work detail" (another prison concept) with students cleaning up around the school grounds which makes working seem like a punishment rather than a helpful growth tool..homeschooling is becoming a trend for some parents but educating a child to be a "whole human being is no joke"...how will my child learn to deal with socialization issues with others.. the bully..the "gay" kids... their own sexuality..the challenges of not making a 30 second decision that ends up with lifetime consequences????parents can only protect them for so long...maybe he needs his ass kicked..his or her heart broken...experience unfair consequences or actions...will you be able to provide these life challenges in your home???..we need to look at our "educating practices" what will you do with your child when you are not feeling the "home schooling" a particular day or week?? If you are like me you are more concerned with how your child interacts away from "you" ...the educating of your child is the most important and challenging job you will ever undertake...sometimes the powers to be will not need your "signature" to inflict punishment on your "baby"..TEACH THEM WELL..Peace!
"Doesn't this equate school work and learning with punishment?"
Isn't school punishment all on its own?
"I'm preventing the Plantation from "punishing" my son and redirecting their energy and resources to the task of helping to educate him."
EXACTLY.
School administrators find every excuse in the book to do everything BUT educate.
Handle that portion before you go off on trips.
Handle your drop out rates.
Handle your school curriculum.
Handle your literacy problems.
Do what you are there to do - Educate.
Home school + afterschool activities and sports.
....There's your social interaction.
I also suppose it may not be necessary to homeschool for the child's entire grade school education.
It is funny, because a friend and I had this conversation a while back. I told him I would not send my child to a public school, because most of what is taught there are LIES. His viewpoint was that he WANTED his children to learn the lies his teachers taught him, so that he as a parent could counter it with the truth at home. Then he told me a story about his son, in elementary school 15 years ago, being punished by his school teacher for questioning the idea of Columbus "discovering" America. His idea was that his son LEARNED from that experience and was better for it, and since his father was willing to stand up to the teacher on his behalf, everything worked out OK. But, I do not see the point of my children being taught LIES, regurgitating them back up as "facts" to pass some damn test, and then having to learn the truth in a separate forum. Why bother pretending that the lies are truth in the first place? It is not MY CHILD'S job to educate the teacher or other students about the truth, and be punished for it! I would rather my child learn the truth AND be taught "these are the LIES you are going to hear... be very wary of them" then to be told this lies are true and come home to me confused, asking me WHY his teacher is telling him something different from what he knows to be factual! I do not think any parent has the ability to counter EVERY SINGLE lie a child is taught is school, so why expose him to that environment in the first place, when there are so many opportunities for education OUTSIDE of a classroom??
Is it now the case that "school is relevant" - so long as there is strong parental involvement?-CNU
No, but it's beyond the capacity of most people to even consider ANY alternative to the public education process. However community is a (dying) concept most people are still familiar with. Unlike public school, homeschooling can exist without community. No doubt community support of homeschooling would increase it's effectiveness and life. But the poisonous combination of public school and 'no community' popularizes the immediacy for homeschooling.
However community is a (dying) concept most people are still familiar with.
SO glad you changed that up (dying) to reflect the actual situation on the ground, in people's lives, and in their minds and conception of what ought to be.
I'm going to write a book about what I have witnessed, recorded, and photographed in the bowels of an urban public school district for the past 17 months....,
^CNu, you may find the work of John Taylor Gatto relevant to your endeavor.
Been familiar with him for years, started recommending his work to others maybe 6-7 years ago - when I was in the thick of cognitive activist response to the institutional mistreatment of gifted kids.
Just finished reading Cheating our Kids How Politics and Greed Ruin Education - which is very good and entirely true as far as it goes - which tragically is nowhere near far enough.
The levels of madness I've observed defy any accounting less than a full-on insider whistle-blow replete with pictures and formal evidence.
I've yet to get my hands on a copy of John Gatto's "Underground History of American Education"; I saw where you could read it online but the last time I checked the links weren't working. I'll have to get that and the other book you mentioned. I'll have to take care of that real soon, as much praise I've heard just on this site regarding his work.
I'm dealing with a lot of the issues regarding what the school system teaches with my daughter now; I try to sit down with her and go over with what she's been taught, then explore other aspects of that same topic. The one thing I always tell her is to question everything; I'll be more than happy to step in and deal with the teachers and counselors on her behalf should "punishment" be deemed necessary for her speaking up for herself or defending herself. She's an extremely imaginative and creative child, and that's what I want to see nurtured; not just going through the motions to pass some test and end up creatively stifled with no capacity for critical thinking.
CNu, good luck with your book.
John Taylor Gatto - again?
While his writings are a good starting point - having everyone cite that one paper is getting to be like those who base their whole concept of HBD on "The Bell Curve".
But yeah DeeVee - reminds me of the days when a teacher just had to call ones house to solve any problems.
The next day, I'd go back to school with a sore behind a better attitude.
Parental involvement is key.
Good post, DV.
And another bit of advice i'd like to offer to all parents here that I wish somebody's told me. A lot of times kids in school wait until after they have their degree to search for that "dream" job. Only when you find out the requirements, you realize that this "Construction" or "Biology" or in my case, "English" degree is useless because the jobs who are hiring for it also want you to have 2 years experience ALREADY (that old need a job to get experience, need experience to get a job catch-22) or experience working with some office code program (SQL, SEO, OSE, ABC or whatever the hell else) or other technical certification whose name you've NEVER EVEN HEARD MENTION OF in all 4 years of school, but is now all of a sudden mandatory. So my advice is this. Have your child thoroughly review sample applications for the job(s) he/she wants NOW, and make a full accounting of all requirements of the position, and have them focus on becoming proficient in that thing, whatever it is, BEFORE they graduate.
Just a lil advice from somebody who's been there. (and is there, right now.)
"somebody'd", I meant, of course. Gha... the English major in me wouldn't let that ride.
DV,
hey i was surprised. as much as you talk about school being irrelevant, you put your children in school?
what about home school?
also, as much fire as you bring to this blog, that letter seems pretty benign.
your thoughts?
RBG
Sometimes insulating your children in a capsule without a community to reinforce your articles of faith creates a faith base trust system with children. To totally remove a child from a space and create this feeling of isolation in the child can backfire in some instances. Don't know if you follow me here.
A person can send their children through public education (not saying that is a good thing) and continue to educate them at home. Take time to challenge what they get from school. I'm not talking about given extra homework, I mean to reverse concepts such as fun education or relevance of education with Scooby snacks & head pats. I mean practical objectives that build a human beings creativity or ingenuity. Respecting a child's ability to reason which also goes into parenthood.
You can't assume every person that sends their children to public school approves or should approve of the system no more than a person living and working in America or any other country approves of the system they live under. Most people don't even think about the world around them, they just exist in it.
That is the purpose of rallying or informing people. I understood very well when I heard and saw Public Enemy that the purpose of the group was not to become a militia but to inform. They executed their purpose.
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