Pink said...
DV, I need relationship advice!!! I have the biggest crush on my bff's employer. I met him recently at a work related event that they had and I just really like the way that he carries himself. He has a smooth, older, sexiness to him. But he recently got out of a relationship and I know he's hurt from that.After I met him that night he invited us to a party at his house and last night we went out for a drink but it's ALWAYS as a group and so I have no idea if he's just being polite but I'm trying to just be friendly and let him be the aggressor if he's interested but it doesn't help that he's 50 and even though I'm 33 I look young so I don't know if he even sees me as dateable. I do know the ex was 40 though. They broke up about a month ago. Do you think that's too soon? And I don't know how to let men be the aggressor so I need help!
Denmark Vesey said ...
Pinnnnnnnnk.Aight. OK. OK.
Let's work this out.
1) DV don't give "relationship" advice.
I give marriage advice.
"Relationships" are for Plantation Negros. "Dating" is played out. They, are by definition, temporary.
2) Big Crush? lol. That's cute. Crushes are nice. But also temporary.
If this cat is as smooth, older and sexy as you suggest, I would anticipate he would be moved more by a woman, than a girl. At 33 you are a grown woman. Which is an asset. Men need women. Your attitude should be that this cat needs you. Let him know you have what he needs. Figure out a way to communicate to him that you are looking for a husband and a father of your children and that you are considering him as a possible candidate. Let him know that you are not interested in anything less.
He will either be turned on by your common sense and candor or he will be turned off by it. If he is turned off by it, later for him. He is a de facto homo who doesn't really want a woman anyway.
All that "confident"/ "arrogant" talk is just talk. That's the shit men and women say to themselves and to each other when they are not bonded with a woman or with a man.
All women act "confident" when you first hook up. Many brothers project "arrogance" to divert attention from the fact that they really just need to Get A Chick.
17 comments:
Bro DV - you would have been proud of me man.
Last night I made my first batch of Tofu w/ Stir-Fried Vegetables.
While I still have a lust to bite down upon the tofu chunks and feel the texture of chicken - the fact that it is more healthy more than balances out what is missing.
Next I have to work on giving up the liquor and lusting after the ladies. :-)
If you're not eating fermented soy, e.g., miso ore temph, the chicken is probably better for you. That is, unless you're trying to increase your estrogen levels or inhibit your thyroid function.
DV, I need relationship advice!!! I have the biggest crush on my bff's employer. I met him recently at a work related event that they had and I just really like the way that he carries himself. He has a smooth, older, sexiness to him. But he recently got out of a relationship and I know he's hurt from that. After I met him that night he invited us to a party at his house and last night we went out for a drink but it's ALWAYS as a group and so I have no idea if he's just being polite but I'm trying to just be friendly and let him be the aggressor if he's interested but it doesn't help that he's 50 and even though I'm 33 I look young so I don't know if he even sees me as dateable. I do know the ex was 40 though. They broke up about a month ago. Do you think that's too soon? And I don't know how to let men be the aggressor so I need help!
Oh and my understanding of the breakup based on what he said last night was that she thought he was too arrogant and didn't like his ego. I asked him why he doesn't just date a woman who also is self-assured and he said he prefers to. My bff said that's not true and she thinks he would run from a confident woman (she doesn't know about my crush). I'm definitely confident so that may be a turn off...
[quote] he's 50 and even though I'm 33 I look young so I don't know if he even sees me as dateable[/quote]
Pink:
I am not DV - but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Since the Honorable Elijah Muhammad said a man should look for a woman "Half His Age + 7" it appears that you are IN THERE girl.
Speaking for myself - IF I turn 50 and find myself alone I am going to get me a young girl like you to reinvigorate me.
The best thing that you can do is to show yourself as a worthy partner by showing a BALANCE between a friend who he can have a pleasurable set of experiences with AND a firm counter-balance who is good council to him.
He does not need someone who is so enamored with him that he can run over her. Though my wife pissed me off at times she is not going to allow me to leave the house and embarrass her.
Just be yourself and both of you will reveal yourselves to each other.
Oh yeah - don't get naked with him until you form some solid foundations about the relationship, getting him to tell you what he is looking for at this time in his life. (or are we too late? :-) )
[quote]If you're not eating fermented soy, e.g., miso ore temph, the chicken is probably better for you. That is, unless you're trying to increase your estrogen levels or inhibit your thyroid function.[/quote]
Cheir:
Why would you have me worried about growing breasts without posting some informational links about your claims?
I was trying to avoid a heart attack by dropping red meat. Now you have me worried about my testicles shrinking by eating the wrong type of tofu.
Nooo you're not too late! LOL! But I've already decided that the next man I get naked with needs to be someone that I'm committed to and have a real future with. I'm currently celibate.
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to just be a friend to him and see what happens. So you don't think I should flirt with him so he at least knows I'm somewhat interested???
Constructive Feedback, my comment was intended to bring awareness of the side effects associated with consuming soy.
Assuming that you are an adult, I thought once informed you would take it upon yourself to do a little research. After all, you are your responsibility.
"IF I turn 50 and find myself alone I am going to get me a young girl like you to reinvigorate me."-CF
Maaan...I can imagine that conversation.
Mrs. Feedback: "What you mean 'FIND YOURSELF ALONE' & "GET A YOUNG GIRL?"
Feedback: "No baby I was just saying cuz, um, uh...one of the bloggers had said I'm growing tofu breaststisess and I knew you wouldn't want a man with tofu breaststisess."
Mrs. Feedback: You lying, cuz even that lil' ol' Monchi-chi or Mongee-chee, whatever his name is, pick up on it.
You people are hilarious!
"Since the Honorable Elijah Muhammad said a man should look for a woman "Half His Age + 7" it appears that you are IN THERE girl." - CF
So by those standads I (25yrs) should be dating guys who are
(25x2) - 7 = 43?!!!!
Nah Oh Mahogany it would be a 37 year old for you... (18 1/2) + 7 = 25 1/2
Shoot, I am 36, so I should be dating a 58 year old!!! (not too far off... I am talking to a 62 year old)
Pink
A man will date a woman because of what he sees in her, regardless of age. Maybe flirt a little with him and see if he bites, but flirt with caution as this is your best friend's boss.
Personally I couldn't date an older man - too many dad and uncle visions going on in my head. But I'd be willing to re-consider if the person was even half as cool as some of the near-50 brothers on here. ; )
Con Feed!
What up Bra. Smart move in the right direction.
Lady Cheir dropped some serious wisdom on you that you need to revisit.
Think about it. Extrapolate it.
Question: Do soy beans increase estrogen in humans?
Very minimally, the phytoestrogen in soybeans metabolizes VERY quickly. However, soybeans are not the only phytoestrogen source - they can be found in a wide variety of foods, including certain whole grains, fruits and spices. The bottom line is, phytoestrogens are incredibly weak. You would have to consume massive, I mean TREMENDOUS amounts of soy, to have the estrogens affect you... after all, men and women both have estrogen in their bodies naturally anyway, they are crucial to hormonal function, with more in women for obvious reasons.
Xenoestrogens should be the real worry - they are the synthetic estrogens present in everything from plastics to cleaners to chemical agents like pesticides. These metabolise much, much slower and are linked to all the research about the harmful effects of being slowly dosed with synthetic estrogens.
Bra.
The sista told you what time it is.
You talking about how to build a watch.
Don't worry about all that Sci-Fi Propaganda disinformation.
Just. Don't. Eat. Genetically Modified Soy.
Pink,
I'm with an older dude. The formula above (half age plus 7 or whatever) is working well around these parts. Been a few years. I remember I wrote a dating advice letter a while back on another blog. DV gave me the same advice. Found it to be true. Tell dude whats up (in a nice, flirty, feminine way). If he's interested, you wont have to guess.
RJEsq
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