Sunday, April 04, 2010

Boom! Right before you close your garage door this guy pops out of nowhere. He says get inside and lay on the floor. What do you do?

22 comments:

Amarie said...

DV, I'm going down fighting.

Amarie said...

What would you do DV?

makheru bradley said...

Pray that the plantation diet causes him to have an immediate heart attack or stroke.

Denmark Vesey said...

Amarie!

LOL. I feel ya.

What would I do?

Even if I can reach the baretta, I'm going inside and laying on the floor.

I'm hoping homeboy is coming for cash and jewels. He can have 'em.

If he is foaming at the mouth on some insane drug rage shit ... I'm throwing a head fake to the right, grabbing the barrel of the gun with my left hand and throwing a right cross with all my might.

If I aint dead after that he will be soon.

Denmark Vesey said...

LOL. Mak B's plan aint bad either.

uglyblackjohn said...

I'd laugh at the guy and say, "Nigga', I'm broker than you".(Happened once at a McDonald's drive-thru. The guy just said, "A'ight" and moved on to the next car.)

Amarie said...

@DV. I know that's right.

@ UBJ. Dude that is mad funny.

Pink said...

LOL @ uglyblackjohn. I'd probably try to run right by him because I'm more scared of what he'd do to me if I do go back inside with him then in just letting him shoot me in the back.

Sasha said...

LMBAO @ UBJ!!!!!

The R. said...

I would say "Damn DV, I know that blog don't pay anything, but this?"

DMG said...

Tactically he's got you, and he doesn't have to be accurate in his shooting...seeing that the barrels have been shortened (so good luck grabbing the end of the barrel...you'd likely catch pellets).

Good news is you know he has no more than two shots and won't be able to reload fast enough if you keep him in sight.

If I'm alone in the house, and my family is safe. Let him take my stuff (just don't let him turn his back). I wonder how much he could take with only one hand on the weapon?

If my family is in the house, he's not passing. Period. I can't tell you how, but he's going out.

By the way, why are you going to reach for an old picture of Robert Blake?

The Beretta M9A1 9mm is a nice weapon (or at least the military version was), comes right back on target. Very smooth. What are you carrying?

UBJ--still laughing.

Pink, you've probably got the right idea.

Anonymous said...

unless your slippin, you should see a fool like this creepin around ur lawn 2 minutes before he gets up on you and you shoul cricle the block while ur calling the cops

however i saw a defense class once where the teacher sugguested you say

"hey i know your momma, dont do this" then once there attention has been gotten u can struggle and yell over the gun, most likely he should run by then.

Realistically if ur docile i'd say follow the directions and hope u make it outa this, then again why not go out fighting, it looks like the young couple in NJ followed directions outside thier home and both of them were still shot in the head...

SO the best answer is, SEE that fool five minutes beofre he rolls up on you, check your parameters b4you get ur black butt out the dang car

makheru bradley said...

I can't get the murder of Charissa Powell in Houston off my mind.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/22929993/detail.html

Two thugs apparently had AK47s drawn on this family demanding the keys to the car b/c they wanted these ugly rims.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/22906143/detail.html

I'm not sure this was really about a car-jacking, but apparently the father in the driver's seat made some kind of move and the trigger-happy thugs opened fire. Were the AK47s already pointed towards the children in the back seat? The back window of the car is shot out.

The bottom line here: (1) have a plan (2) if they have the drop on you, tell them the keys are in the ignition, you can have the car, just let me get my children (whom I assume were in child-safety seats).

By no means am I blaming the father for reacting nervously. No one knows how they will respond to this kind of stress until it happens. But we live in crimogenic America. We need to be thinking, what if?

That's why this is a good post DV.

Denmark Vesey said...

Why thank you Makheru!

Denmark Vesey said...

But ...

Be for real.

This is how it would go down.

"Yo! Yo! Yo!

Chill man!

Chill!!

What the fuck!!!

OK. OK.

I'm getting down!

I'm getting down!

Don't shoot me man!

Don't shoot me man!

Look!

Take what you want!

OK!

OK!

I'll Shut the fuck up!

Please don't shoot me man!

OK.

OK.

I'll Shut the fuck up!

Oh God

Oh God

Oh God

Oh God

(Especially them recently Agnostic / Apostate brothers)

Oh God

Oh God

Oh God

Pleeeeeeeeeeezzzze

Whatever man

Pleeeeeeeeeeeezzzze"

Anonymous said...

The news reports that the father thought they were just acting a fool. I think it just wasn't really happening to him.
When I was in middle school I was walking my puppy Rottweiler. I didn't really understand how popular these dogs were.

Broad daylight this dude was like, "I like your dog."
Gee-Chee: "Cool"
Bytchaznigga: "I want him."
GC: "Then take him."
Bytchaznigga: "I got a gun."

I'm thinking, it's broad daylight, this fool ain't fo' real. Call his bluff. Being a reckless youth with the feeling of immortality I respond:

"Use it, I ain't got nothing to live for." Classic street bravado. He lifts his shirt to show a 44 mag. The fact that it was chrome didn't help how real this had gotten.

Like a dummy I was like, "Whatchu going to do?"

He looked around (was out of my reach so I couldn't charge him) then looked back at me and was like, "Aight, you got it." And it was over. My homeboy was like, you a dumb ass nigga!!!

I know if it was night between some apartment buildings, '88 would've been my fate.

But I wasn't scared, it just wasn't real. If I had been told ahead of time that this dude is on his way to jack you with a gun, I would've been riff'n. That moment was like, this is a performance.

The R. said...

GeeChee, you're an idiot! LOL.

Anonymous said...

^Yeah, I think that dude was like,"This nigga really wants to make me use this. What are my options after I put a cap in his stupid ass."

I'm thinking, "I wish he showed me the gun before I start quoting stupid shyt I heard other fools say." Man, I think I held my ground because I already called him out. I bet if he let one off in the sky I would've given him the dog and mailed him the vaccination records.

The R. said...

Man, I woulda put the leash around my own neck and dropped down on all fours and licked his face. LOL.
You Jedi Mind tricked him. Kinda like when I smacked Suge Knight on the back of the neck. Yep, and lived to tell about it.

Denmark Vesey said...

"I bet if he let one off in the sky I would've given him the dog and mailed him the vaccination records."


LOL!

" Man, I woulda put the leash around my own neck and dropped down on all fours and licked his face. "

ROFLMAO


Yeah man.

I feel you tho Gee.

Your instincts were self preservation.

Sometimes standing your ground and looking a muhfuggah dead in the eye is safer than excessive cooperation.

As my father says: "You can't be civilized with uncivilized people. They don't understand it. They resent it."

Anonymous said...

"You can't be civilized with uncivilized people. They don't understand it. They resent it."-DV

Cold pressed truth. Passing that on to my son.

Anonymous said...

Looking at those 4 eyes, I think I would have fainted. Hopefully, the show would have been over!