Ladies:Given your druthers. Would you prefer your 25 year old daughter had
A. Half as many sexual partners as you did at 25?
B. The same number of sexual partners as you did at 25?
C. Twice as many sexual partners as you did at 25?
Men:
Given your druthers. Would you prefer your 25 year old son had
A. Half as many sexual partners as you did at 25?
B. The same number of sexual partners as you did at 25?
C. Twice as many sexual partners as you did at 25?
The Good Nurse said...
half as many sexual partners,
twice as much self esteem....
Paul said...
In retrospect nothing positive came out of being a ho in college (and the first few years after college). Good Nurse, men and woman are different. Me being a ho actually boosted my self esteem. Boosted my ego knowing I could have the most intimate part of damn near every female I desired. But in the process I hurt a lot of people....I wouldn't want my son doing that. I was self consumed. Be better than me. Plus it's a health hazard. What are the stats? HALF of all Black teens girls have an STD? "Son, don't devalue sex and put yourself at a health risk."
32 comments:
Half? I hope my daughter has none at 25 unless she's married.
My druthers (nice word...just learned it) are for him to have wayyyyy wayyyy less sexual partners than I had at 25.
Interesting Paul. Why is that?
I was selective. If she's like her mama, she'll be just fine. Could even tell the truth about her stats at a gathering. In front of her man. :-)
Half! And only half because that was the fewest of all the options. Hopefully he would have found a fiance or wife by 25.
I say half as well.
Wow. Interesting.
Half, half, same, half or fewer, half.
What up Brother Wes!
I'm going to have to vote for half my damn self. Which is still more than a hundred too many.
(Nah just playin'. Case my wife read this)
I think it's time we make virgins sexy again.
Half.
I'll go with the same amount with the same level of responsibility.
Ahhh ... Pink.
The sexual maverick. The sexual noncomformist. (You n RJesq. of course)
I'm impressed.
When you say responsibility, what do you mean?
half as many sexual partners, twice as much self esteem....
In retrospect nothing positive came out of being a ho in college (and the first few years after college). Good Nurse, men and woman are different. Me being a ho actually boosted my self esteem. Boosted my ego knowing I could have the most intimate part of damn near every female I desired. But in the process I hurt a lot of people....I wouldn't want my son doing that. I was self consumed. Be better than me. Plus it's a health hazard. What are the stats? HALF of all Black teens girls have an STD? "Son, don't devalue sex and put yourself at a health risk."
Lets discuss the fact that only one person voted for virginity. Is that realistic? Do we really want to be virgins?
Is getting straight A's in law school realistic?
Probably not. Does that mean you don't try? Does that mean you don't set that as the standard by which you will govern your conduct?
Does anyone really want to be a straight A student?
Rather than analogies, lets focus on the question and the specific subject at hand.
Put aside the purported implications, and just think about whether you really want to be a virgin until 30+.
I offer that the true answer to the question lies in the responses above. Specifically, "smart sex," and "limited sex," but certainly not "no sex."
Why is the question whether one wants to be a virgin until 30?
Why isn't the question simply whether one wants to be a virgin?
Or even better, shouldn't the question be - why wouldn't you want to be a virgin?
You want me to justify why a woman should remain a virgin, but the answer, in my view, seems self-explanatory. Perhaps you should explain why she shouldn't.
You still talkin about how the question is framed, when the true question, regardless of how you slice it, was answered above.
I didnt ask you to justify virginity. I offered that no one really wants virginity, except you. at least they didnt say they did.
Regarding the rest of your post... are you asking me personally why I wouldnt want to be (am not going to be) a virgin until marriage?
Same reason you werent one on your wedding day.
What else do you want to know?
Wasn't talking to you personally.
Same reason you werent one on your wedding day.
Because you were stupid and immature and made bad choices when you were young that you may not have made if someone had explained and modeled things differently?
Actually, this entire post and the answers that flowed from it have to do with framing. DV framed the question as would you prefer your daughter or son have half, the same or twice as many. Nowhere did he offer none as an option.
Why is that DV?
"Why is that DV?" Insurgent
I don't know ...
Should have.
Maybe I too succumbed to the conformist meme which suggests even attempting to remain a virgin until married is ... ridiculous.
Reading you and Robyn, I see a distinction.
Robyn seems to be focused on what she did.
You seem to be focused on what you would want for your daughter to do.
Robyn seems to be saying, 'Hey, I'm cool. I'm OK. I like me. I'm fine with the way I turned out. If my daughter follows in my footsteps, good for her. If she chooses something different. That's good too."
Insurgent seems to be saying.'Hey, I'm cool. But I'm also lucky. I'm fine with the way I turned out, but I wouldn't recommend ... or model ... for my daughter to do what I did. I would encourage her to reach for her idealized self. To learn from my mistakes, and go further than I did."
In the ballpark?
What fascinates me is a society that has has taken virginity off of the table of desirable virtues in a woman.
A subject that obsessed us for 50,000 years, has evaporated from the culture over the last 50.
Makes me wonder if our ancestors knew something we didn't.
To learn from my mistakes, and go further than I did.
Bingo!!
Yes, youre in the ball park DV.
I, too, was attempting to focus some attention on the larger picture -- not on what I did or what Dina did -- but on what most hoped for, given their druthers.
When I suggested that we discuss the fact that only person voted for virginity, it wasnt an indictment of Dina, but instead an attempt to focus and gain a realistic sense of what we want.
I thought it was telling (and quite honest even if not the ideal) that only one person aimed for virginity.
Ok, let's start this over.
DV, put up another post about the value of virginity. Offer virginity as an option. Or ask why no one else chose that? Is it because virginity is "unrealistic"?
Virginity is not "unrealistic", it's simply that no individual, institution, or authority remains intact to teach the competencies that inhere to the "encratic" state.
The virtues of courtly love and romance have been replaced and debased by the simple mechanics of phukking. Any old monkey can phuk, and any old monkey can be taught to phuk competently. OTOH - in a culture in which not even celibate priests can explain to you the exact purpose and utility of their celibacy, how then expect the ordinary citizen to know anything more appealing than "just say no"?
That "just say no" shit only works on stupid and authoritarian people - and in many cases - it doesn't even work on them, as evident from all the theoconservative public figures who get caught cruising mens restrooms or consorting with prostitutes.
Virginity is not "unrealistic", it's simply that no individual, institution, or authority remains intact to teach the competencies that inhere to the "encratic" state.
Indeed CNu, Indeed.
The concept of virginity goes hand-in-hand with marriage. If the memeplex of "who needs marriage", "it's not for everyone" remains pervasive, then virginity goes with it.
Since there would be nothing for a woman to save herself for if there were no marriage.
Damn.
CNu. Insurgent.
Ya'll should have had a baby.
Be a smart muhfugga.
"in a culture in which not even celibate priests can explain to you the exact purpose and utility of their celibacy," CNu
Got Damn! Preach young man Preach!
"If the memeplex of "who needs marriage", "it's not for everyone" remains pervasive, then virginity goes with it." Insurgent
Yup. Yup. Yup.
Robyn,
you got me thinking.
No. No one SAID they preferred virginity.
But EVERYONE said they hoped their son or daughter would have less sex than they had at that age.
Well, you and Pink did say something about "the same" or less. But I suspect ya'll were just being political.
What does this tell us?
What we wish for our children is a window into what we wish for ourselves.
Did our oversexed generation miss out on something?
Too much sex falls into the category of - Poverty of Abundance.
So folks proclaim the virtue of virginity and other folks chime in in agreement and slap hands over the lack of institutions that prioritize virginity, but when given their druthers, meaning ideal, meaning have it any way you want, all but one say a lil less sex, not no sex, just a lil less.
Interesting to say the least.
I dont know what this tells us DV, but its certainly interesting to me.
What do other folks think it means?
Actually Lady Robyn,
I think CNu and Insurgent laid the cards quite flat.
Our culture no longer values or celebrates "virginity" because we have been conditioned to not value or celebrate that which virginity facilitated: Matrimony.
Sacred unions.
We celebrate the profane. That's why Superhead is a household name.
No one chooses to be "a virgin" for virginity's sake.
Now as a man, I don't wish virginity upon my sons, but pray for it for my daughter.
Why?
I dunno.
Just do.
But I trust not knowing.
“Pleasures are like the footsteps we left on last year's snow. Only suffering remains forever” - Gurdjieff
Second conscious shock and intentional suffering....., something profound has been lost in the common absence of this knowledge and these competencies.
I read what Insurgent and Cnu wrote.
I'm asking about folks.....LIKE YOU....who fight the "conditioning in support of the profane" on a daily basis, or claim to, but still answered "half."
Its still interesting to me. Notwithstanding the explanations offered.
Daughter.
"0" till she marries her husband.
Sons.
2 or 3 hussies until they get married.
Better?
interesting discussion.
For the men, does it make a difference to y'all if a man is a virgin for religious reasons or if he is a virgin because he was just unsuccessful in getting sex?
Also, I agree with the poster who said that most people do not feel comfortable with the idea of being a virgin until they are 30 even though that's the typical age many professionals get married.
Big Man,
If women, across the board, prolonged their virginity longer than they tend to do know - do you think men would be motivated to marry earlier?
The desire for sex was the primary motivation to marry in developed cultures for centuries.
(Hey man. Good stuff on the Lil Wayne Post. I'm going to get back to you)
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