“Daddy”Yeah son.
“You know Anthony? Goes to my bible school? The one that’s dancing all the time? Thinks he’s Chris Brown.”
(Laughing)
Yeah. That’s my boy. What about him?
“He likes girls now”.
Oh yeah? How old is Anthony?
“9”.
Anthony’s supposed to like girls. How you know he likes girls now?
“He told me. He showed me the girl. You seen her before.”
How she look?
“I don’t know.”
She pretty?
“I don’t know”.
How you ‘don’t know’ if she’s pretty? You blind?
(Laughing)
“No! Yeah yeah. She’s a little pretty. I guess… I don’t know.”
Is she prettier than that girl at your school, rides your bus, and invited you to her birthday party? Cuz that girl is baaad! Shhh … if I was 8 years old. I’d be on her case.
What’s her name?
“I don’t know.. (smilin') Never mind."
11 comments:
Aw, he's still got that innocence.
Hm... Too bad I wouldn't know since no dad was there for me. I think hearing about having a girlfriend on TV and from family and friends is what sparked it for me... sparked the actions towards it.
Not that I was physically and hormonally (is that a word) attracted at age 6, but the 'hype' had me feeling and acting a certain way and had me picking a girl of choice.
lol @ if I were 8 years old...
-KINGJAMES
I certainly understand teaching him that its normal to like GIRLS. However, query whether we'd see the same exchange with Snack?
The difference in the way we teach males and females to approach sex and interaction with the opposite sex is apparent very early on.
Cant see you (or your wife) telling your daughter, "he's a cute little boy, if I was 8 I'd be all over that."
No judgment, just thinking out loud.
Good point Robyn,
And the answer is: "Hell No". I would manage my daughter's sexuality and development QUITE DIFFERENTLY than I would my son's development.
Not only do I not apologize for it, I am proud of it.
I think much of the problems / confusion our current generation of young adults suffers is because the modus operandi, the conventional contemporary "wisdom" (thanks to secular social engineers) is to raise boys and girls the same.
They confused "equality" with the "same".
My focus on my daughter's development would be the value of her chastity. It would be that she is special, unique, rare and priceless. The reoccurring message would be that any boy who deserves her affections is going to have to earn it by demonstrating the qualities that make men valuable.
He's going to have to be more than just "cute".
It'd be like:
"Snack, what boy? Cute? What you mean cute? Is he smart? Can he fight? I'm going to have your brother Bam Bam say something to him. He aint even supposed to be talking to you yet. What's his name?"
(knowing full well that that kind of response may even make her like the boy more)
-
All of this - is a dance.
A million year old dance between mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.
I think we've been conditioned to distrust fatherly masculine instincts and to adopt the mainstream mantra that sexuality and dating habits are "programmed" at birth and any attempt to influence them is moot.
I agree wholeheartedly DV. (re-read my last comment, sounded a little like I didnt).
I agree wholeheartedly DV. (re-read my last comment, sounded a little like I didnt).
King James,
Your experience reminds me of my father's experience.
He did not have the perfect 1 on 1 relationship with his father either.
However, the ... 'masculine ideal' ... was related by brothers, uncles and cats in the neighborhood who were the custodians of the masculine heterosexual prototype.
Since that time, the neighborhood philosophers have been replaced with MTV and Secular psychobabble.
Today, Hip Hop, is one of the last vestiges of unapologetic manhood.
It's a shame, because it is such a valuable tenet, it deserves a more mature vehicle.
Nah,
Robyn. You West Indian. I know I'm preaching to the pew.
Ya'll aint as infected by American pop culture as the rest of us.
That was tight.
True story: The first time I saw my wife, I went home from work with 'JONESIN' and said, "Ah, Dad, there is this girl at my job and she is baaaaaaaad and classy and all that!!" Truth be told, I was nervous about asking her out. A few days later, my Dad and I were talking about her again and he laughed and said, "Big J, call her at her extension and ask her if she will go to lunch with you." During our first lunch date, she noticed my monogrammed dress shirt. The rest is history.
King James,
Peace to you, brother. Keep your head up and when you have a son, you'll enjoy twice the fun of teaching him all these things.
Amen bruh.
Wow man it reminded me of when my dad told me that "there is nothing more satisfying than the touch of a woman." I was pretty young but THAT stuck with me and molded me. I waited to the day when I felt that feeling and by God ( if there is one and certainly not Jesus) Im happy to say a Brotha do loves thata feelin' Dv that was a very deep post man. yesterday I said the same thing to my nephew. Wow. But wait my Christian friend shouldn't Jesus handle that? Yet and still very good post.
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