Robyn said...
I fail to see the intellect in repeated itterations (sp) of the same theme, i.e., somewhere 100 years ago,some black woman hurt me and arguably failed me, therefor, I will subconsciously, hell maybe even consciously, take the position, that the actions of black women are mal-intended, insufficient, inappropriate and all around wrong and bad.....I knew all of this before I grew up and got married but that evil winch of wife I managed to have confirmed what I already knew (even though I slipped up and let her fool me for a while). But I do have hope, and it comes on the form of my daughter. I will ensure that she is unlike all the rest of these dastardly black women by using fool proof methods. I will raise her as my son - no female influences of any kind. Even if its one woman at a time, I will undo the evil in them.
I fail to see the intellect in repeated itterations (sp) of the same theme, i.e., somewhere 100 years ago,some black woman hurt me and arguably failed me, therefor, I will subconsciously, hell maybe even consciously, take the position, that the actions of black women are mal-intended, insufficient, inappropriate and all around wrong and bad.....I knew all of this before I grew up and got married but that evil winch of wife I managed to have confirmed what I already knew (even though I slipped up and let her fool me for a while). But I do have hope, and it comes on the form of my daughter. I will ensure that she is unlike all the rest of these dastardly black women by using fool proof methods. I will raise her as my son - no female influences of any kind. Even if its one woman at a time, I will undo the evil in them. 
28 comments:
Good post, Robyn! (Look at Robyn-hood growin' up!) :-)
My personal view is that many black men grow up without fathers and a resultant resentment of their mothers. "You ain't shit, cuz you couldn't keep him!" Then they watch their moms date around. And then they learn to disrespect women from their peers.
The only way for black women to gain more respect is for black men to raise their damn kids.
Big J
interesting shift......
Yall know I wrote this about Mike Fisher, right? But I guess it has application beyond just him.
Thanks for the shine DV!
Damn, Robyn.
Why you so hard on Mike?
Read his stuff a little more carefully.
He aint no intellectual lightweight, he is obviously passionate and is one of the few men with enough balls left to say some shit to black women they need to hear
but what is he saying to black men, DV?
the same way a woman cannot raise a man, a man cannot teach a woman how to mother.
I don't think that's the point Sista Kalena.
What I interpret from Fisher's point is that "A Woman Cannot Raise A Boy, To Be A Man ... Without The Input of A Man".
Now. Here's the problem.
Many women demonstrate a pattern of knee-jerk resistance from men when it comes to the logistics of raising children."
In pop culture the voice of the black father has been on mute since John Amos was on Good Times. Cosby had a run in the 80's, but that has since gotten weird.
When black fathers do speak, we are often greeted with strange reactions, as if were dangerous wolves offering advice to rabbits on how to raise their young.
For Example.
The initial reaction from the women who responded to the image was a general round of applause.
Men. A man. Wouldn't have put that boy out on the street like that. He wouldn't rob that young man of his dignity. She nor any woman has any idea how much that damages a boy. That yelling. That screaming. That smacking that too many young brothas endure.
That's why God, through biological requirement up until recently, gave children a Mother and a Father.
A child needs both masculine and feminine influence. Like a plant needs sun and water.
No, everybody doesn't have the Ozzie and Harriet good fortune of having both. Therefor, one must take that energy where one can get it.
When Fisher shared his perspective regarding the incident and his outrage about the situation - he was quickly reduced to a crazy misogynist who couldn't "keep a wife".
I mean. Damn.
Men like Fisher have enough heart and energy and genuine compassion to sound the alarm, so to speak, by attempting to share with women the seriousness of managing the psyche of a young man, and the dangerous consequences of failing to do so.
Some of ya'll. I'm not going to say any names. Are much less RECEPTIVE to male input, as you THINK you are.
Sometimes. Not often. But sometimes. Sistas can be a little self-righteous when it comes to raising children. Rightly so. Because after all ... "Where da man at"?
Brothas like Fisher have gone toe-to-toe with some crazy ass women any many cats have walked away with battle scars. They are not all crazy misogynists.
Some of them are committed and genuinely interested in raising better kids.
Now, according to some, most men have stopped investing in children. Brother Fisher is investing by responding to that picture like a black father would. He sent that energy out into the universe and hopefully it will balance out some of the insanity inflicted on you men in this culture.
(I think Fish got in the head in one of those battles and lost his ability to understand Hip Hop. But that's another story. I'm working on him.)
When did I say that I'm raising my daughter to be my son? Fact is, I specifically said that I bring as much positive female influence around her as possible BECAUSE I need the help of black women.
Sisters everywhere from those at the hair salon that do her hair and say "Mike, we'll hold her for you for a few hours, go to a movie", to female friends who've held me down for thirty-odd years have come to my assistance. My daughter just got her period two months ago. I had the pad ready, but did I have any idea how to place them? Would it have been appropriate of me to show her how?
Hell no. So I got one of the most trusted sisters involved that I knew. Her momma not being around to teach her that one.
So don't get it twisted, Robyn.
Moreover, a son of mine would hardly be buying stuff from Build-a-Bear.
Please don't get it twisted.
I'm all for black men having an input raising children.
For a while i was the 'go between' for my sister and her ex-husband because they were not able to see eye to eye when it came to my nephew.
My brother-in-law told me he wanted to do more, but the distance made it very hard.
So i knew how i could make it easier for him. I brought my 6 year old nephew to stay with me for two months so he could be closer to his father. I'm just about a 4 hour drive from him.
I made that 600 mile round trip ALMOST EVERY WEEKEND that my nephew was here to take him to see his father because it was more convenient for me than for him.
So when my nephew's birthday rolled around, his dad expressed an interest to be involved. I promised him i'd do everything in my power to make it happen. I made A LOT of adjustments to be able to bring him to see his dad two weekends in a row, one for his actual birthday, the other for the party which would also include my sister.
Guess who didn't show to the birthday party for not being able to 'get off work'? What do you mean you can't get off? You set this date and time!!!!!
So where, DV and MF, is the instruction, hostility, disdain and condescending posts for the men behaving in this manner?
I just can't stand the tone you use toward black women for our efforts with young black boys. WE'RE DOING THE BEST WE CAN!!!!!
I'm holding back tears right now cause this isn't just a blog post, this is MY LIFE!
My nephew turned 7 and his father was no where to be found. He's thinking, "i know my mommy and t-t did their best to be here and get me here. Where is my daddy?'
So you see, the problem isn't just that black women are failing at raising black boys to be men. We're failing at raising them while also being forced to RAISE THEIR FATHERS! It's damn hard. DAMN HARD.
Robyn...
"I fail to see the intellect in repeated itterations (sp) of the same theme, i.e., somewhere 100 years ago,some black woman hurt me and arguably failed me, therefor, I will subconsciously, hell maybe even consciously, take the position, that the actions of black women are mal-intended, insufficient, inappropriate and all around wrong and bad..."
Now that's some dumb pop-psychology bullshit.
I chose the wrong woman. Shit happens. Hasn't turned me either gay or offa black women. Fact is, despite my 400 pound 4'6" toothless appearance and 251 years of age I'm still, thank God, a bit popular around sisters. So I do what a Fisher does. Fish for the good ones. Lot's a fun, too.
Now that's some dumb pop-psychology bullshit.
Fish, thats the same thing I say most times you post.
"That yelling. That screaming. That smacking that too many young brothas endure."
-DV
LOL!
Do you mean to suggest that this is not the very same means men use to "raise" sons.
You are just making it up today huh?
And DV, that was a noble attempt to explain Fish's M.O. But until you can point out even a single post by Fisher where he doesnt blame or find fault with black women, I'm not really listening.
Prenups....get one because women cant be trusted.
Justice system...biased in favor of lying ass women.
Single mothers....although they think their doing the best they can, their really doing irreperable harm to their children. He criticized Jasai for saying that she wasnt going to chase no dude for no child support.
Criticisms of black men......useless utterances for which he takes Justin to task about. Not even a shred of acknowledgement of the man's role in the deteriorating state of the black family
Its a recurring theme with him. and I think its bullshit.
So Robyn. Ain't you the "I love Gangsta Hip Hop" lady?
Now as to your allegations.
The justice system is indeed slanted in favor of women. White women first, white men second, black women third, and black men last.
I didn't say "single mothers" I said in general women can not raise a boy to be a man. That includes married and cohabiting women, by the way. As I said, and as DV said, ypu need a man's input for that.
Third, I have repeatedly linked y'all to a whole series I did over on the Assault on how we got to this state. The series does not blame black women. You can be assured that I would if that was the case historically.
The series describes a conscious, planned effort to disrupt the black community and its efforts for self-determination. The target for that is the black man, and the key to him is the black woman.
There are few people I've encountered who have the passion for the Black community that Robyn and Fisher have. I think it's a shame that two VERY intelligent and passionate people like Robyn and Fisher are at each other's (digital) throats.
Combine that collective energy and focus it on the real enemy, because the two of you are a mighty force ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE FIGHT.
Oh, I think when the &*&%%$ Arabs come to get us Black folk, Robyn and I will be in these same trenches... ;)
Oh goodness Fisher. Give that stupidity a rest.
Kalena...
"Please don't get it twisted. ..."
I applaud your effort, Kalena. And I love you for it because you understand the importance for a child (and not just a boy) to have their father involved.
But the fact is thus. If the guy could not make the 300 mile trip to YOUR house and you had to bring the boy to him... what made you think he'd show up to a birthday party?
Look. I know what you are talking about. But something profound happened during the last thirty years. Sure, we had this phenomenon thirty/forty years ago. But not like this.
I was alive then, I can attest to that.
Now I can join in with all the other folks who keep digging into the failings of black males.
Well, I do so too, but I define them differently. To me a man is a male who takes care of his children first and foremost. Bottom line.
In term of evolutionary biology that is all marriage (whatever form it takes) is about anyhow.
My question is, if we have increasing numbers of black "boys" in adult bodies and we have an accompanying rise of female headed households in the black community, isn't it reasonable to investigate whether there is some kind of correlation? And if so, why?
People accuse me of hating black women again and again. Sometimes that's painful. Fact is, anyone who knows me personally, knows that I love black women.
I like the way they look, move, the cadence of the speech (but NO yelling), I even like the way black women's labias tend to be shaped differently from other women's.
Fact is, I guess that was one of my ex's problems. I just kept looking my sistahs all the damn time.
When I say the things I say it is because I see us being systematically destroyed. When you are facing a form of genocide you can not afford to be liberal. You gotta look at everything cold and hard.
I already know what black immature males do or not. We all do. We need to know WHY? If there is going to be hope for us at all. "cause that "independent woman" thing ain't gonna work, just as the "fuck a black woman" thing ain't gonna work.
but you know what?
Mad as a fuck as all y'all might be at me:
I made you think, and we're in some kinda dialog.
And that's the first step.
"Oh goodness Fisher. Give that stupidity a rest."
Dayum, II. Can't you take a joke?
Sorry Fisher. Missed that. :-)
Afwan
See, you like Arabs. Admit it. You even know some of the language. :-) And you like me too. Aww...warm fuzzy moment. LOL!
I told you. If you saw me walking down the street you'd swear I'm Egyptian.
Just like DV. He's SO Egyptian looking, it's ridiculous.
You need to make a trip out to LA. We'll have a party at DV's house and you'll meet Robyn and make nice.
LOL. I'll be nice to you Mike if you visit. But no promises that I wont call you "full of shit" to your face. :-)
Cool.
Ok, next time I roll out to LA I'll send DV an e-mail before I do.
Post a Comment