soteria said...
Why is he now 'fathering' by simply holding the child's hand as she walks across the street. I think it definitely takes a very secure and self assured man to not be threatened by the fact that there is a new male figure in the kids life. 
Please explain to me fellas maybe I'm missing something but what is wrong with that?Big J said ...
Soteria,"New male figure" in the kids' life.
Their Russell's kids; they don't need a new male figure! Mommy's new little fuck buddy ain't rollin' around town with my kids. That's friggin' sick. I'd kick her ass.
37 comments:
hey mama! hey ladies!
(nice upgrade kimi!)
Definite UPGRADE!!!
:)
That chocolate man is sexy as all outdoors!!
Are those Russell's kids?
Big J
Yeah Big J.
I know what you thinking. And I aint gonna lie. I thought the same thing.
"Aint no way in the world a mofo is going to be walking around holding my daughters hand playing Daddy, like I'm unavailable."
Something about the way Kimora plays her kids rubs me the wrong way. They seem like little fashion accessories. Like a Prada purse or Paul Smith sunglasses.
that's exactly her steez. how could it be anything else?
but it's the same for russell.
shallow. period. (and frighteningly detatched)
Big J, I was thinking the EXACT same thing when I looked at the pic.
I showed my girl that pic and the comments and her response was, "men and their egos!!!"
What did she mean - "men and their egos!!!" ?
Did she mean because we stated we would not approve of another man 'fathering' our children - that our egos were out of proportion?
Why is he now 'fathering' by simply holding the child's hand as she walks across the street. I think it definitely takes a very secure and self assured man to not be threatened by the fact that there is a new male figure in the kids life. Please explain to me fellas maybe I'm missing something but what is wrong with that?
it is particularly threatening when the new guy is WAAAAY hotter than you.
but quiet as it's kept, russell could give a isht.
Soteria,
"New male figure" in the kids' life. Their Russell's kids; they don't need a new male figure! Mommy's new little fuck buddy ain't rollin' around town with my kids. That's friggin' sick. I'd kick her ass.
Big J
Is he supposed to ignore the kids to protect Russels ego? Complete nonsense..... He is a friend of Kim and as such, he should be friendly to her kids..... If Russel is secure in his role as a father he won't be worried.
In anycase, kids are not flighty or stupid. if Russell has a good relationship with them, I doubt that another man could disrupt that in just a matter of weeks!
Many years ago, before I got married I used to date a sister who was divorced with a pre-teen child.
It was her position that until if and when her and and would get married, there was no way that I would be playing "daddy" with her child. There was no displaying intimacy with each other in front of the child and no over night stays unless her child was over night with her father or someone else.
I take the same approach when it comes to my dating women today. (Yes, Jasai, some women do date me dispite my 400+ pound 4 foot 6 inches, toothless appearance. It's the beauty inside)
Children do not need to be exposed to one potential "uncle" and "auntie" one after another.
How many "uncles" have these children been exposed too since the breakup of the marriage?
I feel what you are saying MF about the displays of affection around the child and even the over night visits. But I think it is a bit ridiculous to state that no other man should be around your kids except for you. To me...that speaks more to personal insecurity and/or not wanting your ex to move on...than actual looking out for your kid...
honestly mike, i think you're beautiful.....
KEEP YO DAMN FUCK BUDDIES AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN OR I'LL SHOW YOU MY BRAND NEW BACK SLAP THAT'LL PARK YO' ASS LIKE A CADILLAC.
Big J
DAMN J!!!!!!
So at what point if any can they be introduced? Once they are engaged?
"So at what point if any can they be introduced? Once they are engaged?"
They can start being step-dad when they are married. That's a different thing from being introduced as friends.
"honestly mike, i think you're beautiful....."
What would you say if I really was 6'4", nuthin but muscle, and had all my teeth including my wisdom tooth?
Would you still think so?
i would throw a rock at your bottom front tooth and crack it just slightly.
a little imperfection is charming.
J talks too much isht. he wouldn't do nothin' but get mad and let the machine take her calls for two hours.
don't get mad. get a life.
"would throw a rock..."
Ahhh, that's so sweet. Ouch!
DV.
Big J = Jack Johnson?
Yeah Mike.
Your boy looks like just like a younger, more refined, much more handsome Jack Johnson.
If they ever make the Jack Johnson movie - Big J is the lead hands down.
(He's also a Golden Gloves champ)
Thanks for the shout out, DV.
Jasai, don't hate.
I'm sayin', they can introduce when they are engaged and/or very serious. Ol' girl ain't even officially divorced yet and this dude is holdin' the kid's hand? That's not cool, and she should have more respect for her children.
A woman in my family did this recently. Divorce was final two days and then she married some guy she barely knew just to spite her ex. WACK.
Big J
I think that dating when you are divorced is a slippery slope...on the opposite end of the equation how serious can you get about a woman if you never meet her kids? When you are dating a woman with kids - you are dating the whole package - the kids are included.
So is 2-3 months a respectable dating time before introducting to the kids? 5-6 months? A year?
I agree that it should not be out the gate...but isn't a 'respectable' time frame dependent on the dynamic of the relationship?
I dated a guy with kids and he introduced me to them as his 'friend' after a month and a half. We hung out and went to the park...the movies...had ice cream...we showed no intimacy around the kids...but it was a good chance for me to spend time with his little ones so that I could be fully aware of what I was getting myself into...I appreciated that.
Sista Soteria,
I can't help but notice you refer to that relationship in the past tense.
Which is the problem with "dating" in view of children. Dating, is by nature, temporary.
My husband met my son the day after I met him in person. (We “met” five days prior via phone). In the parking lot as we prepared to go into the movies my son said, "Are you going to marry my mommy?" and he said, "If she will have me."
This, at five years old.
Children know things. Their spirits are far more intuitive than our own and most often they are far more brave.
Rather than try to convince women that there should be some arbitrary time frame in which they should keep moving in their lives, maybe we should teach them that they own an inner compass and that they should be less afraid to be navigated by it. Frankly speaking, I believe there would be less trickin’ if they did.
I married in 13 days and have been married for 7 years.
Heidi Ho!
DV,
No I am not with the guy anymore...but as far as the kids were concerned I was just a friend of daddy's. We never held hands or kissed in front of them...so I am sure that they were not psychologically harmed by my presence.
I didn't spend a whole lot of time with them...for the reasons that you spoke of. We were working on our relationship and seeing if it was going to be anything. But definitely meeting his kids was a component of that.
But I definitely agree with you in a certain way...parents need to be very protective about letting men into their childrens lives - just from the potential of sexual abuse. If you do not know the man well, there is no way that you should take that they are not a perv for granted.
NEVER leave your kids alone with men you do not know ...really, really, REALLY...WELL!!!
NEVER leave your kids alone with men you do not know ...really, really, REALLY...WELL!!!
Damn Soteria,
Is it that scary?
I can't image a mofo that crazy.
But I like the way it sounds you managed the relationship with the young father.
Jasai,
There is something magical about you and Mr. Mr. Your son could see it then, I can see it now.
When that exists, meet the kids and do like you do - Get married. Don't test drive for 9 months.
BTW. My parents met and got married in 10 days.
-
the test drive is hella wack.
And as special as I believe our relationship is, I know that if women were less afraid of being wrong/rejected/alone/broke, they would be able to hear their spirits speaking to them. They would know for absolute certain when to turn right as opposed to left, when to leave as opposed to stay, when to smile and say no thank you and when to take his hand and just let go and dance.
If women would tell god what they need/want and then sit quietly and listen for how to proceed, there would be more women as “lucky” as me.
I feel you Jasai,
But for the record, I didn't read Soteria's statement in the way you appeared to have taken it.
I read her reference to Usher's material wealth as only an illustration of the reality of the numbers of women who find Usher appealing and the consequent increase in the competition for his attention.
thus ... There may be some method to Tamika's madness.
got it.
but even to that point, if 80 million women are vying for a hot pile of poop, is it not still a hot pile of poop?
now this is no slight against the brotha, but the women who "would love to marry him" know only what we know, which is to say, not much. and so how much value there could or could not be, remains to be seen.
BTW, i think we are on the wrong post.
Jasai,
I would consider what you did with your son inappropriate. I'm glad it worked out though!!! :-)
Many black men grow up watching their mothers get dicked down and that is why black men hate black women today.
Don't hate me.
Big J
"black men hate black women today."
Dang. Is that so? Then why do 91% of all black men who marry get married to black women? The rest dating black women?
Big J. I mean, one black man can't hate black folk THAT much. So be real. You're among friends. You can come outta the closet. You're really a white male homo in black face? right?
I for one love black women. Can't get enuff...
If they'd only love a 4'6" 400 pounder, no-tooth. I'd be in heaven.
J, it is inappropriate to you and for you and that should not and does not matter to me.
That’s the thing about this life we live, you can not project your fears and rules on the next man. You can do what you know to be best for you and teach your children what you feel is right and even then in the end, as they do not belong to you, they will do what is best for them.
My situation worked out for me because I know how to listen. I know when to move and when to stay. It is inherent in all of us, just latent in most.
And BTW, it is a shitty poor cop-out to say that as a grown man, you hate black women because of something your mama did. (because you can not and never will be able to speak for another man)
Maybe a man that hates women can't really divulge why and his mama is just a handy excuse.
Post a Comment