Unapologetically Female and Aggressively Feminine • DV University • Spring Semester 2011 • Professor Sista Africa

Sista Africa said...

I absolutely enjoyed reading this. As an african woman, growing up, you watch what the women around you do, and cross your fingers praying for the day when you would have to do the same, for your men and any visitors you may have.

I am an amazing host, when people come to my house they never want to live. So you can imagine what i do for my man. I left Africa, got a degree, and live in a first world country, but i have never forgotten all those moments at home when my mum screamed dinner time, and w woul scurry to the kitchen and get a dish of water to wash my dad's hands. My mum used to do it a lot when we were younger, but as a teenager, i was the one made to do so. I would half kneel at first and my dad would smack my leg till iv knelt down washed his hands, dried them, and my mum enters with his plate of food.

Fast forward to today. I am an adult, i hold my own, i get a man, and instinctively this is what i want to do. My mum said to me growing up, be a good woman, be an excellent housewife, be your man's helper, but dont go around kneeling and serving for every John. The day you kneel, understand you have chosen him.

So days go by, and im dating this guy, i make supper and the thought occurs, i so want to serve him, want him to lean back, relax as i pour some warm water over his hands.

I planned his favourite meal, made it a big thing, when supper came, he thought he would come to the kitchen instead i told him to relax.

When i walked in with the dish and towel in hand, his face became nervous, i then became worried that maybe this is too much for him?

I soldiered on, kneeling before him he put out his hands and washed them. No eye contact. This went of for many months, i had decided he was the one, and i was gonna do what i was raised to do.

When his parents visited, i did the same, washed his dads hands, his mum, his hands all the while kneeling, and i swear he wished the ground could swallow him.

His parents left, and that night, he opened up to me, explaining how much of a woman i was and how i made him feel like a King. To this day his dad adores me, and i believe its in the simple things we do.

My friends vehemently oppose what i do, but i have taken to ignoring their advice, i love my man, and 3 years later, we r so happy. He almost got lost in this world of man who arent assertive, men who just arent men anymore, but i brought him back, at a restaurant when we are ready to order, i look at him and he does his thang ordering for me, exactly what i like.

So you have a gem of a wife, i bet you already knew that!