My ex-husband and I discussed polygyny during the early years of our marriage just as we did other issues such as child-rearing, diet, and current events. He had always been a one woman man but our discussion centered on the practicality of polygyny. Despite what seemed an insurmountable issue that resulted in our divorce he is a great guy and wonderful father. I would have gladly shared him within a marriage with the right sister-wife. But I was enough for him and he enough for I. 
Thanks boo ;)But that's bullshit.
That whole angle is specifically motivated by the male desire. Not the woman's. You won't here women starting a discussion about "man-sharing".
At least not sharing one man. Most women aren't completely satisfied by one and I dont mean just sexually (this time ;)hahaha
But for real....Can a Man TRULY LOVE, and I mean L-O-V-E two women at the same time FOR MORE THAN 6 months? Eventually one of them has to go. Isn't the man who has two wives really just someone receiving all the love and giving very little? I dont mean taking care of two women because a lot of men can do that with their eyes closed. But what you're talking about is an arrangement. Of what real benefit is another woman to the first wife? And is there no other way to get those benefits without marrying the chick into the home? Feminism my culo.
He wants two women to keep his emotional cup bubbling over and his bedroom varied. He is self-pleasing and greedy. But he wants his women to be selfless and agreeable.
Hustle Hard Mother Fucker. Hustle. Hard.
20 comments:
Thanks boo ;)
But that's bullshit.
That whole angle is specifically motivated by the male desire. Not the woman's. You won't here women starting a discussion about "man-sharing".
At least not sharing one man. Most women aren't completely satisfied by one and I dont mean just sexually (this time ;)hahaha
But for real....Can a Man TRULY LOVE, and I mean L-O-V-E two women at the same time FOR MORE THAN 6 months? Eventually one of them has to go. Isn't the man who has two wives really just someone receiving all the love and giving very little? I dont mean taking care of two women because a lot of men can do that with their eyes closed. But what you're talking about is an arrangement. Of what real benefit is another woman to the first wife? And is there no other way to get those benefits without marrying the chick into the home? Feminism my culo.
He wants two women to keep his emotional cup bubbling over and his bedroom varied. He is self-pleasing and greedy. But he wants his women to be selfless and agreeable.
Hustle Hard Mother Fucker. Hustle. Hard.
Love you too O. You know we aren't going to agree on this, ever, right? I'm good with that. And for the record I'm not a fat bytch - lol.
But uh...my Imam is not only the religious leader of our community but also my dear friend. He's communicated to me that over the last year he's been pondering how to bring the discussion of polygyny to our community. Most American women's mindset is agreeably not there and he knows and considers this.
The dilemna is that there are brothers that keep coming to him for advice or to just talk about it. I can say with a fair amount of certainty that guys are struggling with this and many aren't doing it out of greed. Take the following examples as retold my the brother Imam.
Brother #1: 71 yr old, monogamous man. He has been in his current marriage 4o yrs. He marrried young the first time, that marriage lasted over 10 yrs and he had 3 sons in that union. 1st wife never remarried. Eldest son approached him this past summer on his mother's behalf. She desires his companionship in these twilight years. He approached the Imam in tears wanting to honor his son's request but knowing his current wife isn't going for it, or at least he doesn't think so and is apprehensive about asking. Instead he's living with this agony. I doubt that this is about his emotional cup or libido.
Brother #2: got two baby momas and a chick. He admittedly loves women and those whom he is involved seem to love him because they all know about one another. No wife currently but he has told the Imam he desires such but he can't marry just one (and has been unable to convince them to be sister-wives). Unfortunately they are all fine with sharing him so long as he doesn't commit to one over the other. Now that's some sick shiggity! As foul as I consider that it works for them.
brother #3: a very decent, middle aged brother, married 20 yrs with 4 children. This brother went on hajj and was approached by a sister via her brother with a marriage proposal. He indicated to that family that he was married and they indicated that were aware. The sister relayed to the brother that she was a doctor, didn't need a husband for financial support but desired a husband for emotional support and companionship. He deferred the proposal so that he could discuss this with his American wife and of course she declined. This brother has had two other women approach him for marriage but again his wife declined and he honored her wishes. He laughs and says how it's ironic because, as he points out to his wife, she was fine with sharing the boyfriend that preceded him.
I know of some really wonderful polygynous couples that have enjoyed longevity just like I know of some great monogamous couples that enjoyed the same. I know of some jacked up polygynous marriages and I know of some screwed up monogamous ones. Not all polygynous unions are created out of some heightened desire for sex anymore than monogamous ones are. As I've stated before pussy is simply a direct consequence of marriage unless there are some extenuating circumstances. They all do it because they feel it is the right fit for them.
I believe there can be benefit in having a sister-wife, yes maam. My best friend is an atty and she travels frequently. She has a husband and two children. She complains about not always feeling up to family and wifely stuff as much as her career or sorority stuff. She laments how she sometimes wishes her husband had a second wife to do some of the things she isn't inclined toward. They have a housekeeper and order meals out a lot. Suppose there were someone else who didn't work outside the home to the extent that my friend does and were more of a domestic goddess than she. She has on more than one occasion said she wished he'd fool around outside the marriage so he wouldn't burden her so much. As many have stated, that is a much more acceptable and comfortable arrangement than polygyny.
As for a man's capacity to love more than one woman at a time. I suppose so but I honestly wouldn't know. It seems possible. I'm a pragmatist. I have a rather practical view of love and do not consider it the the linchpin that most people do so...
Well said Nik...
of course I wasnt implying you were a fat chick.
While these are interesting examples you reference, and thank you very much for sharing, they are all stories of deception and selfishness.
In the first example,while the male may have no real carnal motivations for sharing wives he 1. chooses for his wife 2. he finds no form of compromise for the would-be parties involved and 3.he keeps such strong feelings from his wife. Regardless of his certain rejection, isn't it more important to be honest with those we love?
In the second example, while he knows for a fact that the women would not agree. The problem is in fact all his own. He has already established 3 relationships with different women with absolutely no real ties save for the fact that they love and possibly sex the same man. It is stupid and selfish to assume you have such choices under the preexisting conditions. In a woman's eyes a man who claims no woman is single. He is not only their man, he just may very well be everybody's man. But marriage, to these women, means more than what he is doing or representing now. You cant just gather birds and expect to teach them to swim. You find a fish.
And finally the third example would have gotten a woman like myself in all kinds of trouble. I do know these example transcend American life (lol) and are fruits of a very particular religion but to proposition a married man with an american wife?! Mann talk about a war in the middle east..
The man honors his wife request on sound judgement. She didn't sign up for that. Yet he defers the proposal as though it is truly an option. His wife has no problem with the way things are. Why should she change her mind? You present these stories as though the men are hapless Joe's put in the predicament of being in high demand with stingy wives. All I see is a bunch of men without the courage to lose one thing to gain another.
The reason she shares her boyfriend is because he was only a boyfriend. Boyfriends by default are "potentially" shared. Which is why having one for too long is dangerous.
Conversations like these are perhaps why women are skeptical about marriage.
I wonder how many married men and women are formally or informally propositioned for polygynous-like relationships. Is this just something I should expect?
At any rate, I know if more men would share their wives, women would gladly share their husbands.
Ashleymadison.com is filled with people looking for some form of the arrangement.
How many men here would be down with polyandry? One woman, several HUSBANDS, who will share this woman with other men?
One woman with several husbands? Never. Not my wife. It is not natural and has never worked at any time in history whereas polyandry is as common as monogamy. There is a biological imperative that makes one male with multiple females work. Look to nature. Show me a female lion with 4 male lions and I'll consider it!
It has worked in several historical times.
If it was so imperative every man on this blog would at least have one kid by another woman other than his wife. It also wouldn't matter how many women you gave kids to, or what types of women. Just whip it out and start being a baby factory.
You haterz.;)
A military wife would LOVE having two husbands. The wife of a jet setter yearns for two husbands.The average woman wishes, just like you, that she could mix Tyrese's body with the social relevance of a Denmark (lol) with the steady stream of income of say a Russell Simmons and voila!
She has for herself "el hella negro"
But again this is all very selfish.
Groovy Lou,
I think you might have gotten your terms a bit mixed up. Should I assume you meant "polygyny (one man multiple wives) is as common as monogamy"?
Your claims are incorrect. A brief search on Google will prove you wrong....same as in the animal kingdom where there are a number of species that practice "polyandry". In order to "look to nature" you need look no farther than your domestic cats, which are polyandrous in a sense, as the females ovulate reflexively giving the possibility of a single litter with siblings with different fathers.
I'm not sure about lions, but more interesting is Goeldi's Marmoset, where the Queen is free to mate with all the males, then there are honey bees who practice polyandry...the list goes on. Mainly the idea is genetic diversity.
denmark vesey are you married? if so would your wife be open to a sister wife and how can I apply!
Damn O.
Bro#1 and #3...deceptive and selfish?
A negro damned if he do/damned if he don't.
Bro#2 wasn't the most strategic in his decisions over a stretch, but #1 & #3? How has fault reached them?
LOVE:
It is natural to love one person over another and still be fair and balanced...even with children. You can't help or control having an inclination towards one thing over the other.
Abstract concepts such as love are not conditions for effectively performing an action such as equal treatment. People work jobs. Yes one can argue a person may work a job out of greed. Dealing with human nature it's easy to round people off to the nearest weakness. But we have to acknowledge people work jobs for security, because they love their profession or just for executing a contractual agreement. Regardless the intent, the performance of duty still remains the objective.
Mange, I ain't trying to be all Iceberg Slim but if it ain't another woman then the Negro loves his children more than the wife. If it ain't the children then a Negro loves his work or hobby more. If it ain't that then his boys.
I know men can become more attentive to other roles and commitments. Sometimes it's logic based on an ignorance by lack of example. That goes both ways.
O, if you can share a boyfriend you can share a husband. An equal distribution of "love" isn't a condition for that relationship. Why take time out of your life investing into (sharing a boyfriend) so that future husband has to be a safety net for all of that accumulated baggage.
You reinforce the concept of polygyny by rewarding the reckless/field playing boyfriend, but turn TSA on the husband.
To say boyfriends by default are potentially shared is the very reason why dudes don't want marriage. They want to hold on to that "potentially shared" factor. The economic and emotional investment is minimal with maximum return.
On the other hand the husband can't just bounce after the first argument. He has responsibilities. Never ending financial support in man universe ain't no little thing. Negroes work hard for their loot. That's why Negroes got heaters beneath the mattress. Someone try to touch his bread & butter and get turned to toast.
If a man is giving up his wealth to a women, he is giving up something he'll kill over. In man universe giving up your hard earnings is not the complete act of love, but it's a high percentage.
A husband is more deserving of such tolerance than some boyfriend who isn't obliged to sacrifice anything.
Watup Gee,
Luv ya lots and happy holidays.
I've already explained why man # 1 and 2 passively deceive their mates.
As to the boyfriend thing...
I mean that when a woman has a boyfriend she can be as sweet as a lamb and want marriage and monogamy and all but in the end the potential for man-sharing is just as great and largely dependent upon the man. Most women don't want to put up with that but are unknowingly doing so. Some women do in order to figure things out or at least until they establish the emotional courage to leave. If that woman wanted to man share she would still be with dude or dealing with another man's same antics but she's not. She marries because she wants to leave that behind just like men get married to leave their freaky, monage trois, roller days behind.
We could talk all day about what men or women love more than their spouses. This isn't exclusive to men. However, a woman is far less inclined to request two husbands. So what's the average man's problem that he just can't bare having one wife, whom he may not love EVERYTHING about?
"It is natural to love one person over another and still be fair and balanced...even with children."
^^ the reason I love that brain of yours..
Very true my luv, but would you rather have another man raise your kids?
Ah...the beauty of youth..the real deal is that most brothers cant handle "one" relationship...they can fuck a lot of women but when it comes down to settling into a meaningful and productive..compromising relationship they fall short of the mark..real short.. the "pussy thang" gets old and then the reality of caring and providing for another human being becomes the reality..not mentioning a few children" added to the mix...the sharing process has always been double standard in this society which is why most women cant see this sharing "thing"...but it is something that should be considered because of the man shortage (have u seen the incarceration rate for black men lately...frightening) but their are some brothers who CAN handle the more than one...but very few and trust me they have their share of problems..but dont all relationships??????
It must be stated that Women were the first to introduce Polygyny into the home. In many eastern countries the men of the village would be lost to War or injured while hunting leaving his wife and children without "proper covering"..
Women through their selfless love and conditioned sense of community wanted for their sisters that which they had for themselves. This state of mind that requires an elevated sense of duty to a purpose greater than yourself and your own desires along with a heightened spiritual awareness.
The benefits of a sisterwife can be endless. Not only in the home, but for benefit of our world. There has always been more women onthe planet. In the black community the unincarcerated. Heterosexual, ready able in mind body and spirit brothers are extremely rare.
What he said.
I am a woman...Pro-polygyny
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