In a way it felt like two cats died yesterday. The Plantation media eulogized the passing of David Mills the Hollywood writer. This underground virtual network of ours seemed to mourn the passing of a cat called Undercover Black Man.
It took me a minute to appreciate the significance of the analog & digital duality shared by those of us who’ve managed to give birth to distinct online personas complete with tangible and enduring relationships. But when I finally did appreciate this Web 2.0 version of Dubois’s twoness, the sense of loss blossomed into a flower of understanding.
David Mills died. Undercover Black Man lives on.
I didn’t know Mills the writer. I knew Undercover Black Man the blogger. No. I take that back. I knew UBM as he appeared on this blog. I didn’t get a chance to visit his spot that often. But I got the impression that he didn’t even get down there … quite like he got down here. UBM was a beast. Everything he said was poignant sharp and insightful.
To put it simply Undercover Black Man was not scared. Well, he was scared of the Plantation. But he wasn’t afraid of the equally dogmatic and totalitarian PC anti-intellectualism of the Plantation Negro thought police.
He delighted in calling Negros on their stupid shit. That made me a fan of his from the jump. His reluctance to call anyone but Negros on their stupid shit made us adversaries.
We seemed to pop up on each other’s radar screens around the time I encountered Michael Fisher and CNulan. Funny as it sounds we hit it off right away. We didn’t agree on anything. In fact I believe we were appalled by each other’s worldview. But we did appreciate each other’s style and strength. In fact I think we grooved off of each other by testing the other man’s convictions in a “… do you really believe that shit you just said” kind of way.
Undercover Black Man was funny. No. He was a funny muhfuggah. There’s a difference. The cat was witty, quick and hip. He could make you laugh at yourself until tears came down your face. Game recognize … But more importantly UBM was deep. As much as we disagreed I always felt Undercover Black Man understood where I was coming from more so than did Fisher or even CNu.
We had both escaped the ideological limitations of racial resentment through completely different paths. UBM built the foundation of his self-esteem on his proven ability to assimilate and to thrive professionally despite being a black man in a business dominated by whites and Jews. ‘Hey! I can’t be too crazy! I’ve got a job, money and awards! I must be doing something right!’ … he seemed to say.
In contrast Denmark Vesey’s self esteem was built upon the foundation of self-definition. ‘I’m wonderful because I say so. Fuck a Plantation job and an award. Our people are wonderful and powerful because of Who We Be as DMX would say. No external affirmation needed. Built upon lies, the Plantation is a house of cards and it will fall. Global System of Black Supremacy yada yada’… you know how I get down.
UB always related to me as if I had to be bullshitting. He seemed to be saying ‘GTFOH! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t want this job, this money or these awards! Who cares about ancient Egypt! Who cares about the African Origins of Christianity! Who cares if we were tricked into war?! What do you know about health?! You are not a doctor?! Who are you to question the Polio Vaccine!! If the people giving out the jobs, money and awards are named Goldstein! I’m rolling with Goldstein! Fuck justice in the middle east! Fight the terrorists over there, not here yada yada’.
I needed those questions. I needed that challenge. I needed Undercover Black Man. Without him there would be no Denmark Vesey.
18 comments:
So are you shutting down the blog? Who will take the sceptor of contrarian ness from UBM? Come back CNu!
RIP UBM.
DV,
one of UBM favorite quips to you was "lower your skirt, Denmark"
just curious -original reference or history?
One of my favorite quotes was actually in reference to UBM, I THINK it was CNu but could be wrong... "Octoroon, please." LOL.
Braaaa Wax!
That's what UBM said to me when he felt I was fucking with him.
Which was quite often. I usually was fucking with him.
LOL! Hey Pink
That sounds like CNu
I think it was UBM who cosigned the layers to my caption for the "exposed" white cat at the outdoor concert.
"PeckerWoodstock"
KP
Will take it as a compliment in that case...lol.... ;)
O. Mahogany said...
I get where she's going with this...but while watching it I got an eerie reminder of that woman who dropped trow in the middle of time square.
Mar 29, 2010 9:53:00 PM
Denmark Vesey said...
^^Only muhfuggah that funny is Undercover Blackman
LOL ... O. Mahogany.
Definitely take it as a compliment.
That was classic UBM
Bra,
Thanks for the re-posts. I was still a newbie & oh-sooo serious in one of 'em. LOL.
Impressive tribute to UBM, gd work Son.
Now, "Lower your skirt Denmark." ; )
RIP David Mills...PEACE
Sad to see brother-man die at such an early age.
Kaaaaaay Duuuuuub!
Thank you sista. Appreciate that.
Thank you to everyone for their kind words.
It was strange talking to people who don't know any of us or how we get down ... and explaining to them how profoundly we all are missing a cat we never met.
I was telling my wife about it. She tried to be empathetic. I think she got it ... to a certain extent.
But she told me "you aint act like this when your uncle died. You went and played golf! Some guy you argue with about Jews & Pork on the internet dies and you walking around all contemplative trying to find the deeper meaning!"
We laughed about it.
I'm glad ya'll here.
When I learned he died the other day, DV, yours was the first blog I came to 'cause I wanted to see what your azz had to say. You have more posts about him now, but at the time you only had two.
One was a nice, classic obituary.
In the other, though, you were classic DV, even though he's dead.
You reposted part of a 2009 conversation of Undercover Black Man saying "Yo DV, go eat your veg-gies while I grub on some scrapple and head cheese. Yeah, I might get cardiovascular disease, but when I die they'll still be talkin' 'bout me..."
Both y'all talk shit, and part of your response was, "When you die, I keep living."
At first I thought it was grandiose and tacky, but also, haunting.
I kept imagining what might have been different if he'd slightly modified his eating habits back when y'all had that verbal sparring exchange... with him eating soup and salad for lunch instead of the probably fast food he got during his busy days.
That fast food along with the other greasy meals was his fast ride to the grave. Damn.
And the more I thought about it, the more I thought how the most painful lessons aren't learned from a book. He's dead and that's horrible, and that light, fun lil' conversation the two of you had is like a ghost of the past to warn the living of the future.
I don't think David Mills aka Undercover Black Man, the man we knew, would have had it any other way.
I thought it was just me...Feeling sad for someone I've never met but will certainly miss.
Great post, DV and great comment KIT.
How sad.
Even in death, he has prompted me to reflect.
Rest peacefully, David.
This obituary reads like David Mills died in order to glorify DV. How egomanical can one person get?
Thrasher
Disclosure ( I coined the label "one drop"'one drop rule" )for David during many of our rants on his blog..He called me a cockroach after I was mad that he would not develop my script and character I created Dr.Cukoo..I will miss our banter it was hot and heavy but I truly know he loved it..I kept him grounded..
Post a Comment