Yes son. "Why?" Well, he's great at what he does. He practices very hard. He's disciplined and focused. He's got heart. "But daddy, he's married to a white girl."
Well ... uh ... yeah. That's his business. "Well when I get big. I'm marrying a black girl like mommy." LOL. Well OK. That's your business, but I don't blame you.
8 years old and dealing with race and politics already.
Healthy and realistic navigation of the culture or anachronistic and racist group think?
As evidenced by little DV and Tiger, sons do as their fathers do.
ReplyDelete....I know I know I'm angry and jaded. (SARCASM!) Tiger and the ex-nanny were soulmates.
Interesting... At the end of the day it should be based on whom you love & loves you back equally and whom you trust and respect with the same in return. Culture is probably more important than skin color. And sometimes having someone in your life who's culture is counter yours becomes a valuable learning life experience.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have this discussion with one or the other of our children at least once a week.
ReplyDeleteThey sense the "something" in the air.
"And sometimes having someone in your life who's culture is counter yours becomes a valuable learning life experience." Casper
ReplyDeleteAight Casper. Now you talkin'.
That's very true. Every relationship needs a healthy dose of contradiction.
too cute! your son just gave you and your wife the greatest compliment there is to give.
ReplyDeleteLove sees no color. If the dude loves the chick, who cares?
ReplyDeleteMany people enjoy being with someone of another race because they feel more "free" to be themselves. There's not as much tension and expectation.
One of my best friends, a Howard U. grad, married a white chick. As long as she's hot, I don't have a problem. But she better be hot. He dated nothing but black women up to that point, but the relationships never went well - partly because he has issues and most black women would not stand by him. Now he's with someone that loves him. Good for him.
Good for Tiger.
Big J
good for them.
ReplyDeletecaleb better not.
thank u jasai!
ReplyDelete" jasai said... good for them. caleb better not. "
ReplyDeleteSo ...
Based upon the implications of your posts... It's "OK" for Caleb to marry a man, but not a white woman?
You wouldn't want Skip Sievert calling you a bigot now would you Jasai?
and they're off!!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine explained it this way. First order people associate with people who are the same gender only. Second order people can get past gender, but only hang out with those who are racially the same. Third order people can get past race and gender, but only hang out with the same class. Fourth Order people get past all of those things and form bonds with those who are spiritual and intellectual companions.
ReplyDeletePeople who date based on race only are second order thinkers. They only see themselves as a color/race and, therefore, cannot value others with any other criteria but color/race.
I find that such second order thinkers (and third order as well) tend to be quite stunted emotionally, frustrated, either single at 35 and utterly clueless as to why they are incapable of forming meaningful bonds with others or married at 35 and painfully miserable.
or you could have some clear "issues" with your own race and seek a mate outside of that race as a means to escape the issue with which you will not deal.
ReplyDeleteThink a minute. Seems accurate to me.
Tiger is the same man who wont even refer to himself as Black, yet his daddy's name was "Earl" wasnt it?
ReplyDeleteSome red flags are raised for me.
or ... It aint that deep.
ReplyDeleteSome things speak for themselves.
A man and a woman together is like music. Either in tune or not.
Do Tiger and ... Elin ... appear in tune?
whatever he does when he is an adult will be his business ultimately. while he is in my care i will interject my thoughts and wishes.
ReplyDelete1) that he not marry white (gay or straight)
That's deep, Dina.
ReplyDeleteRobyn, I think the people you talk about are covered in Dina's post as those that see themselves only in racial terms. That's why they want to marry outside their race.
Jasai, DV makes a good point. You'll sanction with no problem a man poking another man in the poop shoot. You'll come with some "compassion" type stuff. But if a black man loves a white woman, it's all judgment.
Hmmmm.
Big J
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ReplyDeleteMy daughter can marry whothehellever she wants.
ReplyDeleteEven an Arab??? LOL!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteMarry whoever you're cool with. That being said, I don't think there is anything bad or wrong dating based on race. Up until recently the racial construct meant we did share same experiences. Only now those of the post civil rights generation have a greater variety of experiences and lifestyles.
ReplyDeleteno judgement. just preference.
ReplyDeleteagain, he will do what he wants.
and BTW, if a man is gay i certainly would not sanction him marrying a woman just to make those who are uncomfortable with the reality of homosexulaity happy. Even if the man were my son.
as a matter of fact, I would kick his ass.
cause i don't know a single woman, black or white that would rather a gay man marry her than marry or "be with" another man.
Jasai,
ReplyDeleteSo you subscribe to the belief that a "homosexual" has no choice.
Does a "pedophile" have a choice?
Not saying they are the same thing.
I'm just keeping track of how some sexual perversions from the norm are treated vs others.
One a crime, the other a right.
Unlike you, I happen to believe that homosexuals are born with the propensity to be sexually attracted to those of the same sex.
ReplyDeleteI do not happen to believe that people are born pedophiles. I believe that Pedophilia is a pathology born from trauma inflicted on a person during their own childhood.
denial is real.
ReplyDeleteJasai,
ReplyDeleteEver heard of Star Jones?
Your statement was pure BS. You're more comfortable with two men bumping dicks than a black man and white woman. That is WACK.
Big J
Star is in the kind of denial being discussed today on TSO.
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely comfortable with two gay men having gay sex -with each other. absolutely
and you - and whomever else that would like - can date all of the white women you all choose.
ReplyDeletewhen my son asks me what i think. i tell him. honestly.
and Star doesn't have a single homegirl. If she did she would not be married to him.
ReplyDelete"I do not happen to believe that people are born pedophiles. I believe that Pedophilia is a pathology born from trauma inflicted on a person during their own childhood." Jasai
ReplyDeleteYeah. The medical community said the same thing about homosexuals up until 1972. Gay lobby twisted the arm of the American Psychiatric Association and the rest is history.
Tomato. TomAto.
The biological system that manages sexuality is malfunctioning whether it is a grown man trying to have sex with a little boy or whether it is a grown man trying to get another man to screw him in his own ass.
One phenomena is treated as pathology and a crime, the other as a choice and a virtue.
Hell in a hand basket.
Jasai,
ReplyDeleteYou've just been demoted. Kalena, Dina, Jasai is now the order.
That's insane. You're a racist.
Big J
j,
ReplyDeletei can do about as much with your "favorite girl" order as i can with a six pack of slim fast.
nothing.
but thank you anyway. :o)
when arab families assert that they want their children to marry within their culture they are called proud.
ReplyDeletesame with
mexicans
asians
jews
i could care less what the peanut gallery thinks.
i'm a brown girls for brown girls.
Jasai, on this sista I got your back! Screw Justin, his favorite girl list, and them other chicks!
ReplyDeleteThat was me above.
ReplyDeletejust wait Jasai, he's gonna come back with some retreatist qualifier..........Its during threads like this that the N word comes in so handy. LOL.
ReplyDeleteahhhhhh the N word....
ReplyDeletei'd surely get my pseudo-buddha pass revoked for that.
yet if you scroll down a few paces you will see that at some point in the not so distantpast someone else believed that dating white women was at least more degrading than hip hop.(see H. Ford and white woman photo to the right)
hmmmmmm
hmmmmm, I forgot about that!!! But your right, its there, for everybody to see.
ReplyDeleteDont worry, I'm not a Budhist, I'll handle it.
LOL!
ReplyDeleteEven an Arab...
ReplyDelete